Because of You
by awakencordy
Summary: When Arthur woke up, all he saw was him. After episode 1x11 Merlin/Arthur PG


**Title** : Because of You

**Rating** : PG

**Spoilers** : After 1x11.

**Summary** : When Arthur woke up, all he saw was him.

**Disclaimer** : I own nothing about Merlin, it all belongs to BBC etc.

**Author Notes :** This is my first Merlin fic in English, hope that I got them in tune. Also, thanks to Carina, without her this wouldn't be like this. *hugs her*

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He died. He _died_.

Merlin still couldn't wrap his head around it. How he could sacrifice his life for him in mere seconds, how he didn't even _think_ about the consequences his decision would bring for Camelot because of them, because of _him_.

Sitting here, waiting for him to wake up, was the hardest thing he had done in his entire life. That.. that _man_ said that Arthur had drunk only a sleeping draught, but until Merlin could look Arthur in the eye, he knew his heart would not stop racing.

'_He died.'_

How could he protect him if the Prince was so willing to sacrifice his life for others? Merlin couldn't quite understand when Arthur had become this person, but it had been such a gradual change in his personality that Merlin was coming to believe that it had always been there, from the start.

When he saw Arthur begin to shift his head from one side to the other, Merlin kneeled beside him again and asked with a soft, pleading voice.

"Arthur? Arthur, please tell me that your mind is intact, so I can rip your head off with my bare hands-" Seeing Arthur wince was the best view on the isolated shore and Merlin smiled.

"Do you feel like yourself?"

A pair of angry blue eyes glared up at him and, a second later his voice followed, "Where is he?"

"Long gone."

"Lucky for him. I'm too tired to chase him. Help me up."

Merlin kneeled by his face to grasp his shoulders, but the second his hands touched armor, Arthur yanked, hard, on his arm. The next thing Merlin knew, they were breathing the same air and, after a moment, Arthur seemingly noticed that too, so he let him go.

Shocked, Merlin reared back. Questions caught in his throat, but even had he been able to ask, Arthur wasn't likely to answer in this mood. So Merlin cast them aside for the moment, and asked, "Why did you do it?"

It seems Arthur had been fully capable of getting himself up all along, as he decided to demonstrate when he heard the question. Watching him struggle, still feeling the heat on his lips, Merlin asked again, "Arthur, _answer me_. You threw away everything you worked for! For what? You knew you would die,"

"What do you want from me? I died for my people and even _that's_ not enough?"

Seeing him able to yell him again was making Merlin feel all kinds of comforted, but things needed to be resolved.

"No, it's not enough-"

"Then that's _your_ problem, isn't it Merlin?"

Biting his lip, Merlin didn't answer. Arthur was looking for the door, and when he couldn't see it, he yelled "Where is that door? It's supposed to be right _there_-"

"It won't show itself unless you are ready to leave here."

"Great, _another_ test."

Merlin didn't bother commenting on that. It seemed that Arthur realized that his freedom lay with relieving his manservant's emotional distress and he turned to him, "All right, ask."

When Merlin grinned at that, he could swear on his worthless life that Arthur froze for a second. Just a second, but he saw it and he was up on his feet in the next one.

"Why?"

"You would have died, that's why,"

"That wasn't of such great importance a few months ago."

"I saved you with that flower-"

"Yet you allowed me to drink the poison in the first place!"

Having no suitable comeback to that, Arthur was quiet, but Merlin didn't even feel the victory. He just felt lost.

"Arthur, please. Just.. promise that you won't do this again."

Devilishly handsome under the sun, like being himself was an another test of his life to pass, Arthur still was not a man for making promises that he could not keep.

"I can't promise that, I'm sorry-"

"But it's too hard! I watched you die! I thought you were dying, do you know what _that_ feels like? To see your future get weaker and weaker in your hands?"

"Yes, Merlin, I know how that feels, thank you."

Merlin was utterly confused.

"Who? When?"

Rolling his eyes, Arthur spoke, "I was willing to sacrifice my life for an idiot, what does that tell you?"

"Idiot? What does that have to do-_Me?_ You mean me? Arthur you are being ridiculous."

Merlin prayed for patience and took a step towards him. With a gentle voice, hoping that it was suitably soothing, he spoke.

"Arthur, I'm just a manservant and since I'm so _weak_, please spare me from watching your painful death. Could you grant me this one wish? Please?"

Looking him in the eye, Merlin saw that this was not what Arthur had been expecting, so he waited patiently for an answer. Seconds merged into minutes, and just as Merlin was about to pipe up again, Arthur spoke, "Very well. I can't promise that I won't do it again if the offer comes-"

"Arthur-"

"But I'll tell them to take you out of my sight, and _then_ I'll drink it."

"_Arthur!"_

Laughing, at an indignant Merlin, Arthur pulled him securely to his chest, and leaning down to him, crashed his lips to Merlin's in a rush. The taste of his lips was like drinking from the goblet again, but this time it was sweet, it was life giving, it was everything Arthur was willing to give his life for. And when Merlin made a soft noise, clinging to his chest, slowly responding to the long awaited kiss of many life times, Arthur knew he was ready to go home.

When they broke apart slowly, after some minutes, Merlin saw the doors first.

"You are ready it seems."

Kissing his hair softly, the Prince murmured, "And you are pretty smart, it seems."

Smiling at him, Arthur followed as his manservant led the way this time.

**THE END**


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